


Approximately Two-Sevenths

by lloydsglasses



Series: all ur favs are ace [7]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mild Spoilers for s06e04 and s06e10 I guess?, Queer Character, Queer Themes, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:04:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloydsglasses/pseuds/lloydsglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about being a Dean who wears so many cute outfits is that people always seem to jump to the conclusion that he’s gay. Craig finds that a little confusing to be honest; his desire to dress up as a Swiss milkmaid has nothing to do with his sexual preferences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Approximately Two-Sevenths

**Author's Note:**

> So, it’s probably best to mention now that this fic isn’t about a character who necessarily defines under the ace umbrella. I initially started writing a fic for the all ur favs series, and yeah asexuality and aromanticism are definitely referenced to some degree – which is why I’ve kept it in – but honestly things are left pretty ambiguous. Sorry if that puts you off!

The thing about being a Dean who wears so many cute outfits is that people always seem to jump to the conclusion that he’s gay. Craig finds that a little confusing to be honest; his desire to dress up as a Swiss milkmaid has nothing to do with his sexual preferences. It has much more to do with Dora the cow, Greendale’s latest – and possibly first ever – sponsorship endeavour which, as he has to keep reminding his Save Greendale Committee, is a completely justifiable use of the school’s money. The milkmaid costume is just common sense at this point, because how else are his students going to find out about Dora’s bravery if he doesn’t have an outfit to illustrate it? And anyway, Craig knows _very well_ that knee-high socks topped off with bows work wonders for him.

Milkmaid aside, the fact remains that no matter his own views on the subject, people will go on making the baffling assumption that his enthusiasm for expressive clothing makes him gay. If he were fifteen again then perhaps he might accept the label. You need something that defines you, when you’re growing up, and all the kids at school decided gayness was Craig’s defining feature. He’d been small and weedy, with a high voice and a weakness for puppies; given the circumstances it seemed unlikely that they would stop calling him gay, so Craig thought he may as well try to own it.

_Still no girlfriend, Craig? I bet you're gay._

_Oh, sure I am. That’s why my nails are painted. Would you like to see? I couldn’t decide between baby blue or neon blue, so I went for this metallic red. It works, don’t you think?_

See, figuring out how to define himself took a long time and at fifteen Craig was willing to try and simplify it, even if gay didn’t quite sit right with him. It seems ironic now that so many of his mannerisms developed as a reaction to being labelled gay; he had played the part well, and in doing so had actually found the most authentic part of himself. Well, unless you count being Dean – he can’t think of any part of his i-Dean-tity that feels more true than that.

But most people don’t seem to see it that way. To the rest of the world his penchant for fabulous outfits is a direct result of his being gay. Never mind that he isn’t actually gay, so that stereotype can’t apply to him; in all honesty, Craig isn’t really sure if you can apply _any_ stereotypes to something that mostly lacks definition. People seem to find that notion confusing though, which is probably why they settle on gay. Fawning over Jeffrey probably does nothing to detract from that impression, but he’s hardly going to alter his behaviour just to make things easier for other people. Okay, maybe he’ll alter it sometimes, but only on drastic occasions like when Frankie threatens to freeze the school’s assets if he buys any more Fin Fun products. (Craig just wanted to make Greendale the first community college to offer a Mermaid Swimming class – why did she have to crush his dreams?)

Besides, no one seems to have realised that part of what makes Jeffrey so attractive is that he’s unattainable. Craig knows it’s going nowhere and he’s perfectly okay with that. Jeff’s just very nice to look at, and if Craig’s honest with himself he doesn’t want to do anything more than look, despite all his suggestions to the contrary. That’s also what drew him to his mother’s wedding ring initially, aside from how beautiful it is. It’s just easier sometimes to make people think he’s already taken – that way, they give him the space to do his own thing. It’s sort of true anyway, because if Craig were allowed to marry Greendale he probably would. He needs to be a good Dean, after all.

And that’s why gay only covers about two-sevenths of what he is. He’s pretty sure he could describe some of the other parts if he tried hard enough; pansexual is a word that he finds quite handy, and there’s definitely some asexual in the mix too. Sometimes Craig even thinks there’s a small part of him that feels like a lesbian.

But as a whole it tends to be difficult to define, so generally he doesn’t. The never-ending magic handkerchief is probably the closest he’s ever come to sticking a label on it (and now that he’s drawn the comparison he has to get his hands on one of those; combined with his top hat and sparkly cape, Craig thinks he could create a stunning visual metaphor.)

It’s fine though, because Craig decided long ago that he doesn’t really mind if there are no words to accurately describe him. He’s been presiding (or perhaps that should be presi-Dean) over Greendale for a while now, and if there’s anything he’s learnt it’s that no one here can be described in a single word. So who cares if the rest of the world finds him confusing? As long as he has his school, and as long as he can wear whatever he likes Craig thinks he could probably be content for the rest of his life.

Well, provided he can find a way to buy the huge fibreglass hand he’s found on ebay without Frankie noticing.

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST REALLY LOVE DEAN PELTON OKAY
> 
> On another, less shouty note, yes Fin Fun is a real company, and yes they sell actual mermaid tails for actual swimming: http://www.finfunmermaid.com/


End file.
